kenkai_chan

If you go back through my LJ calendar here, you'd find a year ago today that I put up a Final Fantasy VII - based fic called "Haunt and Resolve." Although I actually started writing a fanfic (which is sort of on halt for reasons I may or may not get into later but is still ongoing) back in July '08, today marks the one year anniversary of the very first day I put up a fanfiction for public viewing. To many, I'm sure this may not mean much, but considering writing is what I want to do as a career, it's sort of important.

And really, me delving into fandom and fanfic writing is the reason I got to meet many of the people I did. I would never have met pearlrose86 or dillyxdally if I didn't start writing fanfic, or get to know the feeling of getting reviews and feedback, whether they be good or bad. The criticism and the reinforcement and encouragement I've gotten as a result I think will help me in the years to come as I keep writing and practicing. It'll always sting to get criticized, but at least I'm more used to it.

There will come a time, I know, when I may stop fanfic writing or do a lot less since I'll be busy with original writing. That's okay. I'll miss it, but this is a stepping stone for me. It got me into writing, and for those of you who've been with me from the start or have seen my writing from back then, you've seen how much progress I made. I wouldn't call my earlier works shitty, but they weren't the best. I wanted to go back and rewrite that first fanfic, but my muse seems to be against it for some reason. I may try again this weekend, I don't know, but perhaps when I put up the first of the GerardxErza one-shots, a comparison can be made then.

I wanted to go on some lengthy monologue about this past year and what I've accomplished, but I realize that it may be best put off until next year. Honestly, I'm only getting started. Have I accomplished things? Well, I think so. I'm pretty comfortable with my writing style, it seems. I've gotten stories started at least, and they're slowly unfolding. But many aren't done. Where they will be by this time next year, I can't tell you. I can say where I want them to be, but if I've learned anything from this, it's that stories go at their own pace. Sometimes they're best put off for a little while longer. I have a lot of big story ideas inside of me I ardently wish I could just write out right now with abandon, but I will allow them to sit there in the back of my mind and wait. Sometimes they pose a theme or a burning question or idea that I'm not ready to flesh out or answer yet. It sucks, and it's bad when you have a nagging muse insisting you do it, but I'm in the process of learning how to shut her up.

I've also learned the value of beta-readers and a second opinion. I've had a total of four of them this past year: only two are with me still. The one went AWOL and I never heard from her again, and the same thing happened with the second one in a way, although that didn't end quite as mysteriously. Sometimes I think a beta-reader also has to be a right place and frame of mind in their life to look over a written work. Or, like the second one that vanished, she simply had other things she wanted to do and beta-reading cut into that time. From her I learned that respect is a two way street between writer and beta. Maybe I should have given more to her and I certainly shouldn't have been as much of a nag as I was, but she certainly didn't afford it to me, either. But depressing crap aside, I still have two beta-readers (both from the British Isles, oddly) who have helped me out tons. I thank them both profusely for everything they've done.

Thanks is also owed to my friends who have supported me, and have put up with countless hours of brainstorming and bouncing off ideas. They read some of my earliest works, and continue to give guidance and ideas. Getting reviews is great, but hearing it from friends is even better.

So, here's to an amazing year in writing I had. It was a start, and beginning tomorrow, I will move forward into my second year with a much better sense of understanding and smarts. I don't know what will happen, but I hope I learn and grow as much from it as I have these past twelve months. I want to be able to look back on this time and, perhaps while shaking my head, smile in knowing how far I've come.

Which I am very proud of. The foxies were cute, but kind of boring. So, I made my own mood theme with images from the Fairy Tail manga. The coloring on some of them is a little eh, because nailing skin color is hard sometimes and a few were just generally uncooperative for no good reason. But I like most of them ^__^

s48.photobucket.com/albums/f240/Flamin_Spirit/Mood%20Theme/ 

That's all of them in case anyone is interested in seeing them. I know I have a couple Fairy Tail fans on my f-list. For the rest of you: read it. It's a really, really good manga which is still under 200 chapters. It's got a lot of lovable characters, a good plot, and it doesn't have the pacing problems like those of Naruto and Bleach.

That is my shameless advertisement of the day.

Next little project? New userpics.

 Stolen from Healer and Enelya.

SIX PAIRINGS I LIKE:

1. Ichigo/Orihime (Bleach)

2. Zero/Yuuki (Vampire Knight)

3. Gerard/Erza (Fairy Tail)

4. Cloud/Tifa (Final Fantasy VII)

5. Squall/Rinoa (Final Fantasy VIII)

6. Tidus/Yuna (Final Fantasy X)

THREE SHIPS I'VE ABANDONED:
ie ships i used to go crazy over

7. Gin/Rangiku (Bleach)

8. Cloud/Aerith (Final Fantasy VII)

9. Kenpachi/Unohana (Bleach)

THREE SHIPS I'VE NEVER LIKED:

10. UlquiHime (Bleach)

11. Natsu/Lucy (Fairy Tail)

12. Kaname/Yuuki (VK)

TWO SHIPS THAT HAVE PIQUED MY INTEREST:

13. Ishida/Nemu (Bleach)

14. Edge/Rydia (Final Fantasy IV)


1. Why do you dislike 11 so much?
They're too much like siblings. And way too much abuse for it to be romantic.

2. Who do you know that ships 13?
Quite a number of people, including some friends.

3. What would be your ideal scenario for couple 3?
Them embracing after he's busted/escapes from jail or his death sentence. He needs to be rescued and for her to be there.

4. What is your favorite moment for 1?
Dude, the Lust Arc. So awesome.

5. How long have you been following couple 6?
Ever since I played the game a few years ago.

6. What's the story with 8? What made you stop caring?
I shipped them very briefly when I first played the game. Then the whole scene with Cloud and Tifa in the Lifestream happened and I was reeled in as a fan for life.

7. Which ship do you prefer--2 or 4?
Gotta go with 4. Zero and Yuuki still have a shitload of issues to work out.

8. You have the power to make one ship non-existent. Choose from 10 or 12.
Oh, 10, definitely. 12 is irritating, but 10 is just sick.

9. What interests you about 14?
Friend got me into them, and Edge is just so adorable around Rydia, even when she scolds him.

10. When did you stop liking 7?
I just sort of drifted from it, and like a lot of people, Gin's recent actions have me wondering if he's really any good for her.

11. Did your interest in 9 kill your interest in the series?
Nah. They're still okay, I just don't like it as much.

12. What's a song that reminds you of 5?
Naked by Avril Lavigne

13. Which of these ships do you love the most right now?
Oh, wow, that's tough. I gotta go with 5. OTP ftw.

14. Which do you dislike the most?
UlquiHime. I wish it would just die.

15. If you could have any of these pairings double date, who would they be?
2 and 6, actually. 2 can learn a few things from 6. And I just see awkward hilarity ensuing.

16. Have 2 kissed yet? Elaborate if yes.
Yes! Sadly, it was a "This is our last moment together before I steel myself into thinking you're the enemy and become bent on killing you" kiss. Damn you, Zero, and your stupid angst.

17. Did 4 have a happy ending? Do you think one is likely?
Ah, well, um... not yet. But one is quite likely! (Or it should be, anyway.)

18. What would make you start shipping 14?
I am starting to already. ^_^

19. If only one could happen, which would you prefer--2 or 6.
Well, 6 already HAS happened, so 2. To spite Kaname >D

20. You have the power to decide the fate of 10. What happens to them?
10's done for. Ulqui's dead and dust. Ichigo won and (indirectly sort of) turned him into a pile of sand. Sorry, UlquiHime-ers.

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In April I helped eloni hide a body (-173 points). Last Wednesday I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In July I turned copper_cakes in for farting in church (3 points). Last week I pulled pearl_rose's hair (-5 points). In January I donated bone marrow to enelya87 in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Overall, I've been nice (451 points). For Christmas I deserve a Lego set! Sincerely, kenkai_chan

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

IEEE! I LOVE LEGOS!

I'm feeling good for the first time in days. It's a nice break. I have a daunting amount of work ahead, but it doesn't look so bad right now. I have a frat party to go to on Saturday with a lot of my friends, and I can't wait to dress up. It's a nice break from the stress. Now, if I can just hold onto this feeling, I might get by all right. There are still a lot of things bothering me, but all in good time, right?

My friend Gina comes out of the bathroom all grossed out. We had about four or five ladybugs/those beetles that look like them in our bathroom. They're out and about right now. I let them go, because I don't mind neither ladybugs nor those beetles. In general, I try not to kill bugs, but sometimes in rescuing them you end up killing them because they're so small. And I do kill millipedes and guys like that because, yes, they creep me out, but I feel bad afterwards.

Anyway, she comes out, ranting and raving about how disgusting bugs are, and saying how she had to kill two of them. Maybe it's the circumstance, or that I just read a bunch of pages about the German police battalions in WWII shooting 150 orphans, picking kids up by their feet and shooting them through the head, raping Russian girls, sitting on dead bodies, and throwing kids against walls. But I didn't react well to what she said, and she looked at me like I was crazy. "They're not real ladybugs! Besides, who made it up that they're good luck? That person must have been on crack!" Ironically, I wasn't even concerned about the fact that ladybugs are good luck, or even that the beetles she killed were ladybugs at all. They weren't doing anything to her, I know they weren't. Most of them were at the top of the windows, just sitting there. I planned on releasing them outside later, but now I guess not.

What happened to equal respect for life? Yeah, it's a bug, and we're bigger, but I am not better than the bug. I have my place, and the bug has its place. Are bugs more expendable than people? In terms of numbers, yes. But if you look strictly at numbers, than so are people. There are over 6 billion of us on this damn planet. What's one human? Yet most people are sad when a person dies, and a nation is scarred for years when a few thousand die at once. But no one gives a shit about a bug being squashed. When an animal dies, people are sad, but they shrug it off pretty quickly. It's like a food chain: for whatever reason, humans are at the top.

I don't buy that. I like the circle idea, not the line. Next time you kill a bug, feel a little remorse. You lit out a being just as alive as you are.

Since I'm at my dorm this weekend and I am very bored, I am going to challenge myself and see how much of Chapter 9 of TBBU I can get written tonight.

It's kind of nuts.

1. I got a $175 parking ticket from my school for parking on a street without a damned permit. I have to pay up soon, or they'll be so kind as to double it. Mom handled it because she feels as if it's her fault, and in a way, it is. I'm not angry with her though. But if I had been able to keep my car at home on Sunday like I wanted, this wouldn't have happened. But she made me keep the car for another two days, and when I went to take it home, I found the ticket. So, she got the money from my dad and will be dropping it off tomorrow.

F*** you, school. You screw me out of my house and now you're screwing me out $175, and my family is not that well off. You're tempting me to transfer.

2. I have to think about registering for classes already, and the pickings aren't that great for next semester. If I am not able to cross register at a nearby college to take Japanese, next semester is looking like it's going to suck.

3. I only had to take one mid-term, but it was hard @_@ Soooo much.

4. I get to do a big math project and a 12-15 page research paper during NaNoWriMo. Shoot me.

5. In light of this, I am trying to pop out as many chapters for TBBU before November, and trying to prepare for November without burning out.

So, is it December yet? D:

I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT AGAAAAAAAAIN.

I have a nephew and three nieces already. My older half-sister is pregnant with her second baby. I just found out not even a half hour ago. She called me and told me. I squealed. Pretty loudly. 8DDD

I love babies, and I love them even more when they're related to me! I'm so exciiiiiiiited. She's six weeks in. I can't wait to see her next time so I can squeal and hug her and be all nuts in person.

<3333

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I finally got a video from Ireland up! Expect more in the time to come. This one is me drinking Guinness for the first time. You'll hear my mom acting cheery in the background, and me cracking up because, 1. she sounded ridiculous and 2. I hate alcohol as of right now and wasn't looking forward to doing this in some ways.



This is what happens when you let Mom drive on the wrong side of the road. XD



Taken near Blarney Castle, I think. They were so cute =3



Rush Hour Traffic: Livestock Style. (Btw, that's my mom and my aunt pretty much doing all the talking. They were pretty mad at what happened.)

Friendships. They're such tricky things. I only have a handful of good friends, real, bona-fide friends that I am close with (in rl, anyway), so I cherish them greatly. I try to be there for them when they need me. I try to support them, and while I like to tease, I hope they know I never mean anything I say that sounds slightly mean seriously.

But sometimes they're just such a pain in the ass. Out of the four I consider really close, two of them aren't around a lot. It's understandable: one, my friend Morgan, is going to school in New York, so I don't get to see her often. I get that (but she's coming home this weekend and hanging out with me on Saturday, so yay!). Another one, Amanda, commutes, and she's a workaholic both academically and just in general, so I know why she's not always around. It's hard, and I wish she'd take it easy, but that's how she is. I knew that since I met her last year.

The other two are kind of bugging me, though. My long-time best friend, Alex, hasn't been around for awhile (okay, so I guess that makes it three). I've called her a couple times, but she hasn't returned my calls. She's as forgetful as I am, maybe even moreso, but I don't know what's going on. I really need to get in touch with her. She might have gotten busy, but it's worrisome.

Then there's Gina. Gina I see the most, because we live on the same floor. Maybe it's because I see her so much, but in a way, she's grating my nerves. I always feel like I have to justify myself or explain my actions and what I like to her. She's always judging, always scrutinizing. And she's good at making me feel guilty. Just earlier, I had the oven on because I wanted to make a pizza. We have a gas oven, so it gets smelly. Naturally, she has to shout down the hall saying "This oven smells so bad!" like it's my fault. I'm sorry we have a smelly gas stove oven. I'm sorry that I like pizza a lot. I'm sorry that, yes, my music is a little more "girly" than hers, and somehow that makes it inferior than hers and that I'm ridiculous for listening to it. I'm also sorry that I don't like talking and hanging out as much. I'm not outgoing. I don't know if she just hasn't realized this yet, but if not, I'm going to have to tell her really soon.

And I feel like this is all going to blow up by the end of the year. I'm just so sick of wondering whenever I play music or read something or whatever that she's going to belittle it. I just know that at some point during these four years, we're going to have it out or something and try to set things straight. Where it'll land us, I'm not sure.

Tonight reminded me that being an introvert does have its upsides.

I heard shouting downstairs on the first floor, but I didn't go to investigate. People were drinking, and I heard laughter afterwards, so I wasn't concerned. Thank goodness I didn't go down, because I found out from my friend later that the reason for the shouting was because Jon, one of my housemates, was running around wearing naught but a cup.

Jon's not bad looking, but... yeeeeeeeeeeeah. Not wanting to see quite that much!

I know my house buds well enough to know that this probably happened as a result of a loss in a game of beer pong, which is a popular pasttime for the German Club. Alcohol in general is a favorite pasttime, actually.

Alcohol and I have always had minute contact: I've tried a variety of drinks, mere sips, and spat most of them out afterwards. Simply put, I don't like most alcoholic beverages. My house mates seem to, but I'm okay with that. I signed up to live here knowing that.

I've been told they would like to see me drunk for curiosity's sake at one point. I'm not too alarmed by this, but really, if they see me do that, it'll be strictly my choice. They haven't pressured me or anything, but if they start to... well, it'll get bad. I'm not always as nice as people in RL like to think I am.

I think another part of this whole thing, which ties in with this entry's title, is that I don't need alcohol to have fun. It sounds like something from an alcohol abuse health lecture, but it's true for me. I think because as an introvert, I don't hang out with my friends as often, so it's still fun for me when we do. I guess for more outgoing people, hanging out gets old quick when they do it so often, so alcohol gets thrown in there.

Why not soda pong? Yeah, it doesn't do much, but you could get a sugar high! Hard to do, you say? Well, that's the challenge! Sugar rushes are so much more fun because they are fleeting and you never know when they'll hit. And people are just as hysterical when they're on one. I suppose people would consider me naive for thinking that, but then, maybe it's they who are naive, no?

And on a random end note: I really want a thunderstorm. During the day. I don't like them when they wake me up >__>;

My dog, Daisy, passed away yesterday. I got the call at around 6 PM from my mom. She's been in a bad way for some time, but it still hurts immensely. My dad found her at the bottom of the deck stairs. She was probably going to go pee, but never made it. She's already buried, and it's going to be so strange when I go to my dad's next time and not see her there. I miss her already.

That basically blew the whole weekend.

I'm at a bit of a low point right now. The loss of the contest, plus a questioning review on TBBU among other doubts raised, and now losing my dog is just making me want to break down, and then there's the piling schoolwork. It's making me question everything about myself: my academics, my writing skills, my life... just everything. Nothing seems to be cheering me up right now, and I don't know how long this will last. I hate feeling like this, and it seems like every other LJ post is about how depressed I am.

I'm not really sure what else to say.

In light of all the stupid crap that's happened to me lately, I think a happy post is in order. That, and one of my favorite fanfic authors upated my favorite FFVIII fic series today, for the first time in months, so that made me incredibly happy, and reminded me of how much I love that darn game.

Does it have its flaws? Heck yeah, but I think a lot of people just don't take the time to think over the game a little and consider a few things.

Characters: I've heard it be called one of the games with the worst characters. Totally untrue! How can someone not love Selphie and her affinity for life, happiness, and explosives? Her growth as a character is a little stagnant at times, but for most of the game, we're really just learning more and more of it. That, and growth usually is reserved for the main, head protagonists, but not always! I do see a maturation of Selphie throughout the game, it's just very subtle. She doesn't change her composure much, but you do see her come to take some things more seriously. Irvine's a flirt who seems to be brainless, but you see him waver when he was forced to shoot Edea at the parade, and after learning everything in Disc 2, a lot of his actions make much more sense. And really, if one found their sweetheart and friends after so many years for them only not to remember anything of that person, how well would anyone take it? Then there's Quistis, who's not as unshakeable as she tries to appear. She has an enormous amount of caring and compassion for her students and those she feels the need to help, and it's hard when you're trying to be mature about it. Who else could have kept Seifer and Squall from having at each other for so long? I think throughout the course of the game, she starts lightening up on herself, and not take so much responsibility on her shoulders. She uses her smarts to just help others out, and lets them learn on their own, but gives them a push when necessary (like when she yelled at Squall to go after Rinoa. That = pure win) And yes, Zell. He's a goof who can be a little insecure and tries too hard sometimes, but you have to admire his energy, and heck, he's got unexpected cleverness for someone so brash.

Of course, then we have the characters who experienced the most growth: Squall and Rinoa. We see Squall at first as a cold-hearted, aloof jerk whose got talent but doesn't flaunt it, nor does he want recognition. It's hard to relate to the guy, and he confuses the beejezus out of me at times, but that's what makes him so fascinating, to me. One never really knows what he'll do next, or how he'll handle something. Then we see him change dramatically in Disc 3. I think there were some missing scenes or explanations owed to help transition the change, but one has to consider his past: he loses Ellone when he's five, and he tries to compensate for her loss. No one is there to help him and guide him out of it, so, he's backed himself into a deep, near impenetrable shell. The one person who manages to get through it, at least somewhat, and that he's come to protect (although only because of a contract at the time) leaves him, at least mentally. When he was 5, there were no means for him to bring Ellone back. In Disc 3, there were, and that's what I think triggered the change. Then he has to save Rinoa in space, and for the first time in his life, he says "Fuck you" to logic and goes after her because he wants to. That's quite a step for him, and that's what really sets him up for the rest of the game. He was finally presented with an upfront challenge in regards to emotions and a person he was guarding, and basically, it was an opportunity to break out of his shell, even if he saw it as necessity at the time.

That brings me to Rinoa. The opposite of Squall in a lot of ways, but she sticks with the guy anyway, whether because of circumstances, intrigue, or both. He becomes her protector, but the definition and reasoning behind why changes through the game. She becomes very fond of him (opposites attract!) and I think she was sort of what he needed, the one to fill up the void left by Ellone. Someone who cares about him for him, and brings him out of his shell with her charm. She becomes more serious in the game as a result of hardships and her new sorceress powers, and who's there to support her? Squall, just like the way she supported him before. 

But who could forget dear old Seifer? The rebellious teen who didn't follow the rules but strove for a cause and a place in life. In the process, he gets told he'll never be in SeeD (although, really, that is his fault), he gets caught up with a sorceress who then screws with his mind and turns him against the few people who might have been willing to help him. By the last encounter in the Pandora, it's tempting to smash heads into a wall, because it's just "What, you're a revolutionary now? W.T.F?" But it sorts of makes one feel for the guy. The identity crisis is common among a lot of teenagers, let alone one thrown into a huge struggle. There's just so much there to go on. And so much left unanswered!

I could go on about some of the other characters. Laguna's just a dork who's loveable, and sometimes it's hard to believe Squall comes from the same gene pool as him. Then again, they share very subtle similarities. The uncanny ability to lead despite them both believing they can't, their loyalty, the fact they're both are/were in militaristic positions, and are attracted to strong and very pretty ;D women. Then there's Ellone, Edea, Cid, Xu, Nida, and a lot of others, but I think I got my point across.

The overall problem with the game's characters is that they require one to think a little! Although, I suppose the lack of growth is frustrating, and, well, if one just doesn't like the game, then that's okay.

Plot: I loved the plot. Yes, it had mushy scenes. Dear me, how would any gamer survive such things? </sarcasm> Really, is it that hard to overlook one little aspect? *sigh* Anyway, yes, the plot. I think the background needed some work, especially in regards to Squall and Laguna and actually explaining their connection upfront in the game. Other things were a little convulted and maybe added too much to the soup, so to speak, but I loved the twists in the plot and everything that happened. And it has so much potential for afterwards. A lot left unexplained, a lot that could happen... it's wonderful for fanfic ideas, but it makes gamers sad in some ways.

Shipping!: Squinoa is my favorite FF ship, and perhaps my overall OTP (it's hard to really pinpoint that). I utterly adore them as a couple, since they balance each other out well. And really, the knight/sorceress bit? My inner romantic goes into a diabetic coma over it. I also adore Irvine/Selphie, because the thought of them together, and from what I've read and agreed with, they're such a riot! So cute. ^__^ I don't ship Zell/Quistis, though. To me, it's just a wee bit... creepy. I mean, sure, maybe they could balance each other out, but, I don't know.

Did I miss anything? XD I guess I could get into gameplay, which then I would say wasn't great, but that's not really why I play games. Although, it is important, but not priority.

Yeah, I love FFVIII. I should play it again sometime. ^____^

((And I totally need more FF icons. I only have one, and it's VII D: )

Sadly enough, I lost the Tanabata Festival contest at FLOL. I didn't even place within the top 3 for the fanfiction category. I'll be okay in enough time, but it just stings because of all the crap I went through with editing my contest entry and the trainwreck it was. Then again, maybe that was the problem. It stopped being fun the first time my beta emailed my entry to me and basically told me the ending was horrible. I just kept at it out of sheer determination, but there went the fun. Perhaps it was something else, like how my idea wasn't really that original. My gut told me to think of something else, but I just didn't listen. Another part of me is tempted to say its my own incompetence or inexperience, but I'm afraid I'm going to get yelled at. I could chalk it up as inexperience, though, because I haven't been writing fanfic seriously for real long, and Bleach fanfic for even less time. In the end, I don't know what's to blame or if it was just luck.

I'm glad I sent a chapter of The Bond Between Us to my beta, because I am really not up for doing Bleach fanfic at the moment. Luckily, pearlrose86 and I have been hashing out fanfic ideas and discussing next gen ideas for FFVIII. I might do it for NaNoWriMo. It's fun, thinking of names and personalities and quirks for the kids, and hashing out their histories. Gets your mind off of the depressing stuff.

On real life related notes, school has started and I am not looking forward to doing a 12-15 page paper during NaNoWriMo season. Sadly, I have no choice, I'll just have noooo life. Fine by me XD The other classes should be survivable, just a lot of discussions.

On a creepy real life note, right after I wrote my last entry, my friend's guy friend who was over started hitting on me big time. He openly admitted to flirting with me over texting, and he kept hugging me which was really uncomfortable and awkward. I turned him down, because he's not my type and I'm not attracted to him. I find out the next day that while he was texting me, he was making out with my friend. She had no knowledge of him flirting and trying to go after me.

Really, how much of an asshole can this guy be? I was willing to be his friend, but he can forget it now. Seriously forget it. He's texted/IMed me a few times, but I'm ignoring him. My friend's peeved, and while she's still talking to him, she probably won't be inviting him up here anymore, because it's just too awkward.

Why do I have such rotten luck with these guys? One gave up on me too fast, and this one might not be giving up on me soon enough. I just want to walk out of this school year having had or being in one successful relationship that actually started and went somewhere. Is that so much to ask?

1. My dog, Daisy, isn't doing well. She's been going downhill for a few weeks now, but she was shaking while walking today when I went to my dad's house. She can't climb stairs well, and when she attempted to go down the stairwell earlier today, she slipped. I honestly thought that would be the end of her. She's so emaciated and weak now, I was afraid the fall would kill her. Amazingly, she got back up on her feet and was okay, at least for now. It's the not the first time she's taken a trip, but she was a lot stronger back when she did. I don't know how much time she has left. I understand, sort of, why Dad won't euthanize her. She still has some life and fight in her, but is it worth making her spend what little energy she has left, toiling on in misery? I'm going to call my dad tomorrow to see how she's doing. If she's gotten worse, I'm going over there. It's such a long drive now, but it's not worth missing what might be my last moments with Daisy. It's just so hard seeing her so weak. She used to be such an energetic and excited dog. She's a shadow of that now, and it's painful to witness her decline.

2. Sallie Mae is giving us a confusing and hard time in getting a loan for school. I know Moravian will let me pay at the end of the semester, but they'll charge a late fee, and I'd rather get it done and over with. Barring any doggie emergencies, my mom and I will need to go over the loan stuff, and try to get it sorted. My dad will need to cosign. This whole mess could have been avoided if my mom and I did it from the start, but she wanted my dad to actually help out. He has no idea what he's doing, so... I don't know exactly what happened, but we had to reapply for another loan since the original one we went for sort of disappeared or something. Moravian never heard anything from Sallie Mae about a loan. Quite disturbing, no? And really, really annoying.

3. Speaking of annoying, my muse is being stupid, as usual. Fickle, too. Buuuut, for the first time in six months, I am starting to write The Next Seven again. She's being antsy about it, though, because there are a lot of fight scenes ahead, but I'm hoping when I buy and start playing Dissidia, she'll come around. The Bond Between Us is coming a bit slowly, mainly because I'm between planned plot points right now, and it's hard to fill in the gaps. I really should make a broad, general outline for it, just so I don't keep running into that problem. As for Calendar, the resentment has passed, but the inspiration is a little dry, like with N7. Again, I'm hoping Dissidia will cure me of it. Keep fingers crossed.

4. This is my last full, free weekend before school starts. Kind of depressing, yet, I'm looking forward to it. It's been a little bit of a boring summer, and maybe the work will drive me back to my writing so something keeps me sane. At the very least, I'll have my own room and lots of privacy, and no parents to bug me about stuff. It'll also be interesting to see how this will work out in November for NaNoWriMo, but we'll worry about that come October >___>;

I'm in the mood for fudge. Luckily, there's plenty in the fridge.

Anyone know of a few good meme's I could do? I'm feeling bored and wanting to do some.

I moved! Just from one town to another, about a half hour or so apart. My mom and sister are now much closer to their jobs than before, and we're closer to a lot of friends and family. There are some pros and cons to the whole thing:

Pros:
1. Like mentioned, closer to jobs, and a little closer to my school.
2. Nicer town, and nicer apartment. Tad bit smaller, but nothing we can't handle
3. Two bathrooms!
4. One floor, so no pesky stairs to deal with
5. Brand new kitchen, carpeting, paint job, etc.

Cons:
1. Only one AC unit
2. The damn Spanish-speaking workers don't keep a consistent schedule. When they say they'll be in conflicts with what the landlady says. It's sort of annoying to hear them come in at 8:55 AM, chattering and then leaving after doing nothing. I don't know what they do when they pop in here, but it's getting kind of stupid. Fix the light and whatever else needs to be done, damn it
3. Apartment opens into a hall, not outside
4. I don't know the town well
5. We can't keep our rabbit here yet until the maintenance guys are done. Poor thing is stuck at my grandparents'  ; ;

Some of the cons will go away in time, but it's still annoying the meantime. We have internet and cable, but we need a new TV. The big ass one we have now isn't working anymore. It must have gotten jostled in the moving truck. So, we're using the littler one I got for my dorm until the new one my mom ordered comes in. *sigh*

My contest entry is in the final stages. The third and (hopefully) final draft of it is with my beta. I am still waiting for it anxiously, but there's time before the deadline, so there's no real rush but my own impatience. I just want it in and done with, ya know?

And the muse has suddenly decided to not work. Definitely not good. I think it's from all the Sims 3 I've been playing. If I can't get something done tonight, I think I'm going to give the damn game to my mom tomorrow and tell her to take it from me. It's addicting DX

We're getting Bones Season 1. I've seen a couple episodes of the show, and it looks reaaaaaaallllllly good. I love David Boreanaz. He was awesome in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (haven't seen the show in probably a decade or something, but it was good in the beginning), and I'm liking Emily Deschanel, and her character. Blatant intellectual ftw.

'Course, my mom then decides to say I can't watch it until my room is done (I hope she means at least most of it, because even her room isn't done). I did get a bit of packing done today. Cleared off my windowsill and TV. Can't clear off my dresser until I get some paper to wrap breakables in, and I don't know what to do with all the Beanie Babies on my shelves. I'd like to keep some, but most of them have to go. I hate to throw them out, though.

I also have to go through the pile of stuff at the foot of my bed, underneath my bed (although that's mainly boxes and stuff that need to be done anyway with. It's just getting to it that's the tricky part), my clothes, and then the closet. The closet won't take long either. Just clearing out the stuff on the floor. Mom wants to go through our school stuff that's in there and see what she wants to keep. It sounds like a lot, but I know I could do it in one full day if I really wanted to.

Oh, and I have to go through my books on the bookshelf. Add that to the ticky list.

Then I'll need to clear out my car. That's what I'm dreading. The floor in the back is covered with stuff, and then deal with stuff in the trunk (although that's not much either). It's just not a fun prospect.

Aside from packing woes, I have to baby-sit tomorrow for my cousin. Truth be told, I'd rather baby-sit the two year old I watched tonight than him. He's five, I think almost six, and he can be hell. If he tries shit tomorrow, Cousin Emily will be putting her foot down big time, and the only answer he's going to get to the million "whys" he asks me is simply "Because I said so, and really, that's enough of a reason." He's going in the shower at 7:30, and he's going to bed at 8:30. He resists going into the shower like he did last time for 15 freaking minutes, I will physically haul him in there and turn the water on.

It's money, and my Uncle John pays well. I'm going to Dorney Park on the 23rd, so I will need the money for the ticket. So, I will deal with the little cousin.